((BJ)) I too am so proud of you.
You know, what you wrote about chronic grief...

"Hanging on to the grief is the closest they can come to hanging on to the deceased"

That makes perfect sense to me. I guess the key is to try and
figure out a way to break the cycle.. to not let the grief over-ride
ones very being. To find a way to hold onto them tightly, but still
thrive and embrace ones life in today... for their tomorrows.

We are all works in progress, you dear BJ are a master piece!
I am continuously amazed by your strength. Much love ~Nikki