Awwww, Nikki, I'm so sorry. How brave of you to even start up the counseling again, after all you've been through. My goodness, you've already got a full-time job looking after your dear husband.

I wasn't her full-time caregiver, but my Mom had Alzheimer's. I know that even on a good day, it is so trying to repeat yourself again and again, and wear that smiley face to keep their spirits up. And to be gentle and kind when you're just a degree or so from a complete meltdown.

It's particularly hard when a person who is closest to us is afflicted. They are the one we would normally turn to in times of difficulty, and now they are simply "unavailable." And we are left to carry our burdens without the reassurance and comfort they would have provided in the past.

I don't have an answer for you, dear Nikky. But my heart goes out to you and Lynn. Maybe volunteer for something less emotionally traumatic as a way to continue to "give."