I want desperately to believe it was an accident.
Twink I hope you don't mind, but what you wrote me
I would like to share here. "I can't help but feel your father wishes he could come back and hold you and apologize over and over. I'm sure he had no idea how devastating his action would be to his sweet daughter Nikki. "

I believe that with all that I am. The only thing I am clinging to is I
KNOW he couldn't have known how deeply this would hurt. It is trying
to destroy me. I know too, that is the very last thing he would wish
for me. I know how greatly he loved me.. and what is so ironic in a
twisted sort of way, is he was the one who always protected me..
the one I would run to when I was hurting. And yet, here I am falling
apart due to a choice he made. Lord but I don't think I can survive this!