Hi,

I posted a while back on the hell that was 4th of July. I am still a bit jumpy at times, but most of the time I'm OK. I mean, how much of a response is normal? That sounds like a silly question....but I don't know what the "average" as far as adjustment after returning from combat. Should I always be a bit jumpy? It's not bad enough to where I'm scared to leave my house....I don't have flashbacks...etc. But I am uncomfortable in large crowds. Loud noises bother me. I've been having problems sleeping and lately I've been spaced out...with concentration problems(more below).

I've been suffering the effects of an ear injury and TBI since Apr 08. Over the past few months, my neurologist has tried various medications to try to get my headaches under control. I am in nearly constant pain. The headaches can be debilitating at times. It has affected my mood. I've tried an anti depressant (Pamelor)...but I actually found that while it relived some pain...I started to have mood swings. The pamelor actually made me anxious and I had a panic attack and anxiety. (First time I've had a Panic attack like this in my life!! It was scary) So we stopped the pamelor.

The best med for my headaches I found is an anti seizure(Topamax). But it causes me to lose some cognitive function, slur some words, forget things, etc. The TBI affected my memory and speech already...then add on the effects of the meds. So....I am less pain....but I am getting extremely frustrated. I get angry easy at everything. It is driving my marriage to the breaking point. My wife says I'm becoming a different person.

So...the point of all this:

Last week, my neurolgist prescribed Seraquil because I've been having increasing problems sleeping. It did the trick....I got the best sleep I've had since before I went to war. Now here's the problem....

I'm sleeping great for the first time....but I'm dreaming vividly. Some of those dreams involve my time in Iraq and the incident in which I was injured. Some are flashbacks...exactly like it occured. On two occassions in the past week, I've dreamed of the incident where I was killed in the attack and it scared me. I've also just had general dreams of war--rocket attacks, attacks on Humvee convoys, etc. (involves me in the dream, but isn't a flashback).

So, my question.....has anyone had meds stir dreams that weren't there before? The sleep is great in that I have much more energy...but the wakeup is a bit scary!! (This morning when the alarm went off I thought it was a rocket attack alarm and rolled off the bed onto the floor..scared my wife)

I had very few dreams at all before this last week....certainly none this vivid.

Is this PTSD? When I'm awake (unless someone slams a door or surprises me)..I'm generally OK....I'm not avoiding people...I'm not having disturbing thoughts all day, etc.

Any suggestions?

Nate