I wan not sure exactly which thread to post this in. I think I will put it here. Maybe it will help someone who is struggling with end of life decisions. This is a big issue and is going to become bigger. Hospice is my passion and that of quite a few of my family members. I think there must be an answer, a 'middle road,' for people who face these issues. I want to relate this experience, I have had quite a few but will add just this one for now.
At one time I was a charge nurse in a Nursing Home on the private wing. We had a patient with a rare form of Parkinson's. When she was diagnosed and understood what she was facing, she put together a living will with her wishes. She did not have any family. But she did have a POA and a very good friend. She was intelligent, and middle aged. When she could not care for herself at home she made her home in this wing of the nursing home. I remember that she had a special computer set-up which was her life-line, so to speak. She was one special lady and we all loved her very much and did our best to care for her. With this particular type of Parkinson's, sorry I do not remember what it was, one deteriorates quite rapidly. In her living will she forbade any unusual or extreme measures to keep her alive beyond what would be considered a normal death process from the disease itself. She was terminal. I watched her deteriorate and loved her through it. She got to a point where she could not do anything for herself. She really could no longer feed herself. She would be in the hallway, in her wheelchair, with her tray in front of her, and I would watch her try to eat. As the months went by she became less and less able to accomplish it. It was difficult, but it was her wish that if she could no longer eat herself that she not be fed 'unnaturally.' She would allow us to feed her meals and give her Nutritious drinks to try and get some nourishment in her. But she became less and less able to swallow. It became apparent that this would become a natural process of the 'death journey' for her. And it was what she wanted. She lived her life as fully as she could. She was one of my favorite patients. And some people may wonder why she would not have a feeding tube, or why it was not forced upon her. This was her personal choice. And a natural result of her disease process. And we honored it. And we honored her. I felt privilaged to have known her and to have been able to be a part of her care. I quit working there before she passed away. But I knew it would not be long. She cried when I quit and so did her friend. Because they knew how much I cared and how hard I tried to make sure she got good care. I stayed in touch and was around when she passed away. She went quietly and peacefully. I hope this pays tribute to her.