I have kept a journal for almost two years now. I started writing my feelings down a few months before I quit my last job. Which is that has to do with part of my pain as well. I had to quit my job because if I didn't I would have died working in the situation I was in. But I loved my job so much that I didn't want to quit. I was really sick from going to work that I was in bed for a good two months after I had signed the papers to quit my job. I took a month off before I even signed the papers even. So I was in bed for a good three months total with migraine headaches, bloody noses, hives, barely able to breathe, burns on my hands and all sorts of problems because of my allergies getting so bad. I haven't really been able to work since then either.

It all adds onto my stress of my life because it's hard to get by. It's hard to pay for medicines when I don't have any money coming in. I am in college trying to get a degree, but this semester has been so hard on me. I'm not even sure if I am going to pass all my classes this semester or not because everything has just been so hard. I keep going to church, I keep praying that something will come up to help me through all this. I keep writing and writing and writing my problems out, and each time I feel a little better. Then I usually end up back where I started off. I feel like I am just going around and around in circles with my life. Accepting new things and then having to reaccept the old problems. Also having to deal with my parents and I am still taking care of my younger sister, who is now 20 years old. It's just so hard. I really wish that life would get easier for me.

As far as telling my doctor how I feel, I had a friend come up to me today and she told me that she would go with me if I wanted her to. Though I really want to do this on my own because I feel like I owe it to myself to get the help I need to help me through all of these problems. I will do like I did last time. Just take a deep breath and close my eyes to talk.