Hi all,

You know, at times, my passive aggressive behavior really gets the best of me. I need to work on it. A lot of the situations I get into in my neighborhood though are because of the low cliental here. I feel myself being pulled down with them. I've got to do better but they are all I have for the moment. I may or may not come into some money that could help me move somewhere better. I hate to count on it but at times when I've been taken by another neighbor I think that I've just got to be able to move.

I've basically realized that my best friend is me cause I'm the only one in this whole wide big world that I can ever really depend on. Even though I've been told I'm a strong person I get so insecure at times with knowing I'm all I have. I have 3-D friends but not like having a soul mate or even being loved by someone. To be honest, I have no one who really loves me but me. My ex loved me even though he was an abusive man and as strange as it may seem I miss him. He at least did love me and did do things for me out of love but now I have no one that will do that in 3-D. Okay, pity party. I know I have met some people online but it's not the same as someone who really, really, loves you. I never stopped loving my ex husband and for most they just can't understand. There were more good time with my ex than bad. The good times just could in no way make up for the bad. And it was the bad times that has really messed up my mind to this day. I'm much better than 2 years ago but I can't really say I'm all that satisfied.

I really don't have but 2 people that I can talk to personally about my legal battles due to the sensitive nature of it. I have another legal issue I've been working on that I can't even post in the open for fear of bodily harm. I just need some friends. I just keep getting side tracked with some of the people I come across around me and I seem to take a step backwards.

befuddled2