I am surrounded by death. Lost 2 of our crowd to overdoses possible suicides then find out that last Monday a friend hung himself and my father in law died suddenly last night.

It all feels surreal. I feel like I am in a bubble. I just want to curl up in a ball and go to sleep until the funerals are all over. One today, one Monday, one Tuesday.

I am so tired. I am afraid to let myself think. Almost numb but not quite numb enough. Wish I could make it all go away.

I feel like things are on the edge of getting really bad here.