I also am sorry for the huge loss you are facing in such a short time. The feelings you are haiving are normal. the numbing shock of it the wanting to curl up in a ball. all normal. I am so sorry that anyone has to face such a tragic situation like you are.

maybe you could go to each "service" for a short time not staying all threw each one just going for a little while, maybe you could do that. of corse if you dont feel up to going it is understandable with in a situation like this, the shock and numbing is just so heavy and hard people would understand . you need to take care of you.Please remember that.take care of you first you are the most important person in your life.
please know that all of us here care about you and we are so very sorry to hear the news you shared. it is tragic and hard. we are here for you know this and know we care.
I send my deep sympathy to all the familes all the friends and to you. may God wrap those dealing with this in a healing embrace and lead all of you through this safely.my prayers are being sent.
let us know how you are doing and if you need to talk or vent or just need a hug ..we are here just a click away.
PEACE
BMW

here is a link to our survivors of suicide forum. i post in there and visit there a lot . it may help you . just a thought.
http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/forum29.html