BF,

You need faith to cope or in other words, hope to cope, so don't let go of that. Sometimes it is darkest before bright days. I went through a pretty dark time myself when all I had was the computer. My family won't have anything to do with me except for a sis across country I talk to that I've never met. It still hurts at times but it does get better. You may not see now how that will happen but with you but it will. The sun doesn't shine on the same dog's butt all the time after all. You are very strong to have all this on your shoulders whether you realize it or not. Please keep the faith and it will see you through. Pray when you feel like this.

befuddled2