Hi. My name is Melody.

I'm taking this out of the post that you wrote:

"He hasn't modified his diet except for limiting sweets. He eats way too much red meat and carbs but no fruits or dairy. And in no way does he stick to a schedule. He eats usually only twice a day, "when he is hungry", but weighs at least 300 lbs. He drinks occasionally but when he does-he gets drunk. Also, he has insomnia which probably affects his ability to think clearly. I can call his Dr. and tell on him, but can't force him to do anything he doesn't want to do at this point."

Unfortunately, you husband is a food addict and the result of this condition is that he weighs 300 lbs, which robs him of any energy, and has contributed to his health woes, WHICH DO NOT GET BETTER IF YOU CONTINUE TO WEIGH 300 LBS.

And the fact that he drinks and gets drunk, well what can I say. It's extremely destructive behavior.

You are to be commended for staying with him, for continuing to support him, and indeed, for taking care of his mother, WHEN HE WON'T HELP YOU DO IT.

(by the way, some would call this co-dependant behavior), but I really think you are doing what you need to do.

You are surviving by the way.

That's all one can do. Your husband is on a self-destruct course. You can't change him. You CAN however change how you react to him.

You must (if this is at all possible), think OF YOUR OWN HEALTH AND YOUR OWN NEEDS.

Not an easy thing given what you are going through.

It is NOT EASY when we have to stand by and witness a loved one slowly destroy themselves.

I myself have had to get that lightbulb moment. Only when I did, did I take my own life in my own hands and get HEALTHIER.

It's not a five minute, overnight quick fix. I had to get the support of nutritionist, I went on message boards, I went to support group meetings.

I had to finally understand that I MATTER.

Let me tell you one thing, honey.

YOU MATTER TOO!!!

Don't forget that.

I wish you well.

Love, Melody