Quote:
Originally Posted by warbelsnap
The Dr thinks it was spasms. Just told me it was a part of the fibro. What I am really having a hard time with is that I can't do the things I like to do or need to do. I have a hard time going to work because of the pain. Trying to clean our home feels like it is killing me. The financial problems of not being able to work on a full time basis. Thank you all for writing back with responses. I cry all the time. I am on antidepressants and they do help. However, I just feel useless. Some days I get really mad at the situation. My husband and daughter are on vacation to his parents house. They will be home in a little less than 2 weeks. I think what we need to do is sit down as a family and get a reality check. We need to accept that if we can't control the pain and stuff, then working full time is not an option. This causes less money so we will have to cut back on a lot. Plus this means I can't do all of the housework and that they are going to need to start pulling their weight. We need to start acting like a team instead of one person doing 90+%. Not going to work any more. What do you guys think? Does it sound like I'm heading in the right direction? Maybe some advice from the Fibro veterans. Thank you all again.
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Hi,
I am so sorry you are going through this. 90% of the work is just toooooo much and not really fair.You have a condition and they need to step up to help you. You deserve it. A family meeting is really a good place to start.
I don't know your situation very well but sometimes families just don't know that what they have come to expect from us should no longer be expected.
It only makes our pain worse and gives us guilt that we can't do all the things we used to do.You could tell them that if we can work together it will lower the flares and then you can slowly go back to doing the things they expect or better yet if they are willing to accept you need help maybe the chores could be divided up from now on.I think that's best
It has taken me 6 years to realize that I need help doing the things around the house, that never were a big deal before.I took care of our 4 kids did it all you know the super mom thing.Hubby made the money I made the beds.
Now the beds are unmade most days oh well... so what no one see them but me anyway.
The floors only get done once a week when hubby does them after his 60 hour work week at City Center.( I feel guilty when he does the floors)
The only meals cooked are cooked by him. I am allergic to a lot of things like dairy,soy & wheat so its not easy finding food I can eat(I feel guilty for this as well)
My 23 year old son who lives at home has stepped up and does all the kitchen cleaning.No guilt here he needs to know how to keep a clean house.
My Hubby also does our laundry.The folding really hurts my arms if I do it.
It took me several years to realize I needed help.
It took me several years more to ask.
When I did finally break down and tell him I needed help he said he would have helped sooner if he had known how bad the pain of folding clothes, cooking and doing floors were for me..... so maybe they don't know just how bad it is for you let them see the pain you are in.I hid the extent of my pain for a long time. I don't know your situation but don't hide your pain from your family maybe they just don't know how d**n bad it hurts.
I hope and pray if they don't they will learn and understand soon.
Your health is worth it!!!!!!!!!!!!
I had to give up a high paying job because I just could not do it any longer.
Now I have a small business on ebay it does not make much money but if I don't feel like putting on my day time clothes (jeans hurt)I don't.
Maybe you could look into a way to make money on the internet?
I am an artist but haven't painted in 2 years because it hurts my arms too much, so I thought I would start scrapbooking all the photos from the last 30 years.After several months my feet started hurting so bad (I stand to scrapbook) that now I have realized that if I want to continue my hobbies of painting and scrapbooking I will have to modify the way I do them.
I think the best advice I have been given this week is to do everything in moderation no matter what it is.
My Dr said crying is a good way to release pent up emotions and holding them back is not good for anyone.So she told me to cry as much as I needed to but then try to feel the emotional release.That's what she said.
I don't know if anything I said helped but I do know how you feel
Lots of love
