I wonder if I can tell Addy something...
when I see you saying these things sometimes, I really worry about you from way over here. It's not your fault. If he doesn't like xmas, than so be it. My son has no interest in xmas or birthdays or other types of celebrations at all. They're just not in his list of priorities. It's just the way he is. It's not because of me or my divorce or anything else. (((addy)))

STOP beating yourself up.