All of your posts are so comforting and are helping me get through this strange period. Each of you understand what limbo-land is and what it entails.

Right now I don't know what I fear most hearing a diagnosis or hearing that I don't have anything but that I will have these symptoms for the rest of my life without any cause/'the unknown factor'- and that there is nothing they can do to treat them or what is going to happen. I'm just really strung out thinking about it, and I found out yesterday my DH is very worried too but he is trying to be the stable person of our marriage, because someone has to- and he is right. Our boys need stability right now and I'm definitely not that at the current time- which is bothersome as a mom. The symptoms have taken time away from my sons and spending time with my family over the past few months and that is what upsets me the most. I just want it to stop and fear that it won't be able to or that it will just be 'the unknown' and a mystery, and I will go on living in limbo land forever wondering -'what on earth is wrong with me?!' If that happens, then my therapist and DH will help me work through it but none of our family and friends will understand.

I need to stop analyzing everything and get busy again. Today I have been wise and took an Ativan this morning. If I was smart, I would have taken an Ativan every morning this week to keep me stable and calm, but I didn't think of doing that. Oh well. I'm going to take one right before I have the MRI so I won't freak out when I go into that room. My son had to be sedated when he had his MRI this year due to being scared. There is nothing worse than having your own child require an MRI of their brain. Waiting for those results seemed like weeks (only two days) but it was torture. Children are precious. His brain was fine but he ended up having low growth hormone deficiency and requires growth hormone shots daily for the next few years. He has taken it all in stride. He is also growing now and is gaining to the other kids his own age. So I worry about the outcome of this MRI mostly because of how it could effect my family due to my functioning abilities. I've had difficulties all fall/summer playing baseball/football with my sons and it is so upsetting. I just hope I don't lose that ability. Playing with them means more to me than anything in this world.

I need to stop blabbering. Thank you for listening. I had better get back to focusing on working in this house. Today my hands are functioning some and I'm taking advantage of that- clean, clean, clean!

Coffeegirl