((BF)) I too can see why people would like you so much. You have a caring soul and loving heart. I'm so sorry to hear you have had such heartache in your life. Sometimes, it is so hard to hang on.......

One thing you said stood out to me -"Everything that I wanted to be is gone."...... I can't help but feel it is never too late to be anything we want to be. If that one particular goal seems too unattainable, too hard to reach for, perhaps you could change it to something that you can still do. I am not sure if are able to drive? But, I know there is a huge need for big brothers, maybe you could bring your love of science to a child? Or something like meals on wheels? I use to do that before Lynn became ill.

Maybe it is just the way I am? But, I find the only thing that has ever truly helped me through trying times... like my disability and physical pain... Lynn's Alzheimer’s etc, is sharing not only my pain, but my experience with others. In reaching out to try and help others, I find a purpose for these trials we must face. A positive spin, on a tragedy so to speak. I see the post from you, you always offer so much help and guidance to others. Any support group would be blessed to have you. I am glad you posted, I am glad you are sharing with us