I don't think you were here when i had been posting time ago. Pleased to meet you.

I know what you mean. I have all kinds of behaviours - including but not limited to the derailment of conversation you mention - to avoid the hard core get down to the nitty gritty grisly....

this year i have been ... i won't say formally "journalling" ... but writing. i haven't been recently due to being holed up with anxiety/depression, and indeed my sessions are haywire right now.

ok but what i found was, when i would go out... to a cafe - or a park - or your home - or wherever you feel "ok" ... keep a notebook. sometimes, i like unlined paper or squares... it doesn't really matter. the thing is... write the date, and start writing something of the topic you would like to cover - the present is best, how are you feeling about it in the NOW...

DERAIL AS MUCH AS YOU LIKE!!! First, you are not likely to derail as much (chit chat, small talk, etc... tho feel free.) thing is you can read back to yourself and... then come back to business. i have found that i usually do comeback to business. i have also found that certain derailments take me interesting places, therapeutically.

in general, through writing i have found i often end up, in my mind, with some synthesis of the long thought process that did the writing. the synthesis i can then take to therapy and be a step ahead... so i'm doing therapy outside of therapy essentially.

before therapy i try to spend a few minutes just making a check-list/reminder of anything i've conjured up through writing... feelings, patterns, behaviors, connections, whatever. then i bring my notebook to therapy and we start from there, thus skipping any and all written derailment, and who cares if there's pages of it! i occasionally read excerpts from my notes, where, say i might have a certain concept or "revelation" expressed concisely... why flounder... i can just read it off without........ derailing or risking not getting it across right.

well, so this between session note-making has helped me a lot, and when i asked for my pdoc's feedback on our progress, he said he was pleased and that our sessions are much more productive and less "scattered" since i started doing that.

i will add that i have made tangible progress in therapy this year. i think this writing, tho not the only factor, has contributed. i actually moved past one nasty issue which i now feel much "lighter" about. Furthermore, some of the writing during that process also brought to light more general issues and we are now working on those, oh joy.

Well, good luck to you!

~ waves ~