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Abbie · 11-11-2008, 11:58 PM

Thank you all!!

I haven't journaled in quite a while... since my old computer caught fire...

I have tried but I get stuck and it just doesn't make any sense...not to me anyway. Right now my Tdoc doesn't want me to journal as she is afraid that I will open up something that I just can't work through on my own and she's a bit afraid that it may send me over the edge.

I won't journal but maybe I can write down some "concerns" and "thoughts" so I can maybe stay on track...

I think my meds are working... I don't go from zero to freak out as much as I used to... my tdoc did mention rapid cycling... she asked if I had ever heard of it... I said I had heard of it. She thinks I may be rapid cycling.

I have been having to take 1.5mg Klonopin 3 times a day just to stay at a lesser anxiety/panic level for the past week and a half. I've been taking my Cymbalta and Seroquel in before going to bed... I wonder if I should spread them apart a bit???

Lots of emotions are mixed up in this tornado... I can't talk about the MAJOR thing my tdoc is trying to work me through... I've had it buried for 24 yrs... I never wanted to ever think of it again let alone talk about it... I don't know how it spilled out of my mouth but it did... now I have to deal with it and I really don't want to... I want to bury it again.

I see the Pdoc on Monday...another new one...I think it's just for a medicine check..make sure I have enough and see how things are going.

I see the Tdoc on Wednesday....

I'm still open to any suggestions on how to beat or calm this tornado...

Thank you all for your help... As you all know...I'm only 3 months into the officially diagnosed BP world... it's scary.

for all,
Abbie