You sound more together than you perhaps feel. Funny how that is sometimes... i read my own posts back at times and go, gosh, i sound ok, but i'm not.

i'm sorry you are in a panic... sending you soothing thoughts, and will keep you in my prayers. yes just jot down little thoughts if things pop into your head... sometimes that helps just so you don't have to "remember" it. that sounds better for where you are than sitting and writing. also, i didn't mention, but i myself write impromptu only when i want... it's just that i'm longwinded (if you hadn't noticed )

You do sound like perhaps, beyond the anxiety, you might be having some racing thoughts. the seroquel should help with that, but if you are still having them, you might ask your pdoc if an increase would be in order. i used to take 600 when i took seroquel. when i was at 400, i used to wake up in the night, sometimes hallucinate in the dark even after getting up, if not getting up just waking up and having episodes of sleep paralysis with hypnagogic hallucinations, and just generally not sleep well. the only problem was that 600 was very sedating daytime too - after 14 hours of rock solid sleep, but if you are very activated, that may not be a problem with you. report and describe your tornado, and ask about the seroquel.

what you describe in therapy... jumping from topic to topic and that your therapist noticed but you hadn't... corresponds well with racing thoughts, be there an anxious component or not. i had at first interpreted it as an anxious reaction which can cause confusion and disorganization in the head. but it sounds as though your tdoc is perceiving "flight of ideas" ... that is the technical term for the outside observation of when one's thoughts race. when it gets bad enough, we get the sense of not being able to get things out at all... "pressured speech" almost like 100 ppl trying to all squeeze through a door at the same time.

i had wanted to post this sooner but i was not doing so well. anyway. so there you have it.

do what you can. do what works to keep you grounded. one night when i was sooooo agitated and my thoughts nuts and probably bordering on psychotic (i saw my gp for some scripts, and he was alarmed and wanted to send me to hospital!) well, i found that doing simple things, like drinking water was good. sipping it. focusing on the wetness of the water. even talking to myself. saying, water. water. maybe this sounds really stupid. that night i also took a massive dose of zyprexa and made my bed in all pale-blue sheets a kind of obsession/fixation thing that got on me... i didn't want patterns. my big thing is LOW STIMULUS. but Mari's experience was different. so ... try things and do what works.

best wishes for you interview, and serenity before during, and after.... and continuing.



~ waves ~