Wendy,
Bottom line is you have to take care of your needs first and if being around certain family members drags you down then its time to cut ties! In my case certain family members stayed around me as long as I continued shelling out money...but as soon as I put a stop to that......they no longer had any use for me. One day I woke up and realized that I was the only giver in the relationship and I wanted to know if I quit giving if they would still be around for me....and I found out my gut feeling was right...I was simply being used. I don't feel like I am hard and bitter, just decided to protect my heart along with my bank account a little better. You just have to do what is right for you.