Cherie, that sounds a lot like my mother. She didn't visit my grandmother except once every 6-8 months or so, maybe. And when I called her to tell her that my grandmother was in the hospital and wasn't expected to make it she yelled at me for not telling her my grandmother was in the hospital. I told her that my grandmother had been in and out of the hospital many times that I hadn't told her about and that I had said that I was going to only tell her when I knew my grandmother was not going to make it. I told her she was an adult and could pick up the phone and check on my grandmother just as easily as I could and that it was her choice not to do that.

My mother visited my grandmother for 30 minutes--along with my brother--the night before my grandmother died. I was with her until the end holding her hand. I don't regret that.

You couldn't help the TM attack and that was a terrible thing that your family did to you--not telling you. But no one can take away your memories or the bond that you had with your grandmother. My mother couldn't touch them either. In the end, they lost out--not us.