Quote:
Originally Posted by Gazelle
Cherie, that sounds a lot like my mother. She didn't visit my grandmother except once every 6-8 months or so, maybe. And when I called her to tell her that my grandmother was in the hospital and wasn't expected to make it she yelled at me for not telling her my grandmother was in the hospital.  I told her that my grandmother had been in and out of the hospital many times that I hadn't told her about and that I had said that I was going to only tell her when I knew my grandmother was not going to make it. I told her she was an adult and could pick up the phone and check on my grandmother just as easily as I could and that it was her choice not to do that.
My mother visited my grandmother for 30 minutes--along with my brother--the night before my grandmother died. I was with her until the end holding her hand. I don't regret that.
You couldn't help the TM attack and that was a terrible thing that your family did to you--not telling you. But no one can take away your memories or the bond that you had with your grandmother. My mother couldn't touch them either. In the end, they lost out--not us.
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Yeah, my Grandmother was in and out of the hospital the last 3 yrs too, and every other time I was there to visit, bring her things, advocate her rights, etc. Unfortunately I was simply unable to that last time . . .
My sister's were/are carrying around bitterness about an entirely different issue, which really has more to do with jealousy about my (good) relationships with certain family members, including her. They have "selective memory" on some events too .... which if I was the resentful type, I could be very bitter about. But that's a whole new kettle of fish . . .
There is positively no excuse for not picking up a phone and tell someone their Grandma died, even IF there is/was bad blood. That's a major control issue which will come back to bite them in the bottom one day. Karma, it's a beautiful thing.
My Grandma wanted to die for the last 20+ yrs, after outliving her 3rd husband (all others had died along the way). In fact, she had some kind of emergency aneurysm-thingy, and she was so mad that we had authorized surgery to fix it. Unfortunately our options were limited because they said she would live even without the operation, but would be permanently connected to machines if she did. We thought it was better to give her a chance at keeping her independance then the alternative . . . but she just wanted to die (which wasn't an "option" at the time).
I miss my Grandma ~ she was so wise and astute. I know she is happy now though, at peace with her one and only "true love".
Cherie
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I am not a Neurologist, Physician, Nurse, or Hairdresser ... but I have learned that it is not such a great idea to give oneself a haircut after three margaritas
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