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3. When we talk about our pain and our tears flow, don't try to make them go away. They are doing good things for us. Our tears are like the steam valve on a pressure cooker. We need them as a way of releasing our suffering.
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For the very first time, I was able to talk about my Dad - without someone trying to comfort me with words and hugs... I was able to let go without worry that I would trigger someone else.....
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4. We know we scare you at times, because we are so distraught, but don't look at us as a problem to be fixed so you will feel better. Don't make our healing about what is best for you. We know you want to help, but advice and "should do's" only invalidate our feelings and push us away.
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AMEN! This brings to mind the recent visit to Dad's grave with my sister. I completely fell apart. Later that night, she told me seeing my raw grief literally made her have to throw up several times. With the therapist, I can let go without this fear (or guilt) of upsetting those around me. I don't scare her a bit
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6. Be an empathetic listener. There is incredible power in saying nothing. Don't feel like you need to fill the silence with words. A gentle hug, a hand held, a simple nod of the head says you care.
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There simply are no words that can take away the pain. None. Again, for the first time I was able to talk and rant without someone trying to sooth me or touch me. I didn't know how badly I needed that. I talk to myself all the time
but I guess it isn't the same lol