Thank you ((Alffe)) How was your meeting today? I would love to hear all about it! Maybe we can each learn as we go along, tossing ideas and thoughts to each other, and anyone else who may be interested of course

My testing went well. They did more than I had planned on, but that is a good thing. Hoping this time I will get some solid answers and the waiting game will be over.

Drum roll please................. I went to the meeting

Not ONLY did I go, but through the shaking and the tears, I was able to talk about many things that concerned me. I didn't even throw up until after the meeting This is a great group of people! They only started this program about a year ago, so far the emphasis has been on bringing care locally for those who are depressed and they did host a few local seminars. I want to bring the focus on bringing depression out of the darkness, bring it out in the open, rid ourselves of the stigma so people can and WILL seek help.

On the other scope, I want to offer help and support for those who are left behind, desperately and blindly trying to pick up the pieces after a loved one takes their life. I can't stress enough how wonder these people were to me. Most have known me since I was a teen. Their compassion and their commitment left me awe. They not only listened to everything I said, they agreed to everything I suggested right on the spot!!!

Many things are in the works One of the things will be working on is first response training! The police chief is going to include surrounding areas as well, for prevention, and survivors. By next months meeting, I need to compile what I would like in the first response care package to be given to family members. They said you make the list, we will make sure you get everything you feel is needed!! WOW!

They thanked me for coming and joining the group. They said it was great having new "blood" bringing in ideas, and being a survivor I was able to add insight because "I do truly know".

It was hard, extremely hard.......... But, for the first time in 8 months I feel something positive stirring inside me, real hope. It can't take away this unbearable pain, but I don't know, it is hard to explain........ I need to make sure I do something for both those who suffered as Dad did, and those who are suffering as I am. It has to stop! It also has to start somewhere ....... in feeling like I am contributing, I somehow feel I am honoring Dad's memory, that I can try to make something good come from his tragic death.

Ok, I am WORN OUT!!! But I wanted to share with all of you