Thanks for your thoughts tamiloo, much appreciated. I'm not doing too bad at the moment, just getting my head around the implications of this. I'm only 37 and have two kids aged 13 and 9. I originally decided to have the operation because I was no longer able to be active with my kids and now this has happened - ironic really. My husband has been absolutely awesome, im just so lucky I don't have to cope with this on my own. Over here in New Zealand we are not able to sue doctors they way you are in the States. We can pursue compensation through the Accident Compensation Corporation (ACC) but the process is designed to be lengthy and frustrating and I don't have the mental energy just at the moment to go there. You sound like an amazing person, having dealt with both yours and your husbands injuries/illnesses. I have a lot to be thankful for compared to you but reading your profile gives me strength that I can cope with this setback. Thank you for reaching out.