Ali I'm so sorry for all that you and your family are going through. It's so terribly difficult to lose a loved one. I lost my DH seven years ago in much the same way....very sudden and no advance warning of any kind. It just rips the rug right out from under you.

You're right.....we should all let our families know how much they mean to us each and every day. I never say goodbye to either of my boys (be it on the phone or in person) without telling them I love them. And they do the same with me. Unfortunately we all know just how fragile life is and how quickly it can be taken away from us.

You're fresh into this grieving process, Ali....don't expect too much from yourself and please don't punish yourself. None of this was your fault. Everyone has their own way of grieving....no one way is better than another. It's all very individual and personal....so if you feel the need to cry, then cry. If not, then do what gives you some comfort.

You and your family are in my prayers.