I'm sick of this disease.
Can I trade it in for what's behind door # 2?

I mean I've had the diagnosis for less than a month, isn't there some kind of a lemon law where I can sue the doc for a newer improved version?

Maybe something random where I get to stay home all day and am oblivious to pain and the only cure is eating massive amounts of chocolate and drinking coffee whilst all of my friends and family dote upon me for the rest of my days?

Yes, ladies and gentlemen I believe I have lost my mind. I think it swam away with all the fluids they filled me with this week.

Must be time to get some cats, because the dog refuses to behave and the hamster just smells and the guinea pig stopped talking to me last week sometime. And the hermit crab.... ah schucks he's at my mom's house too!