Thank you all SO very much for your kind words and prayers, it means SO much more than you could ever imagine at a time like this.

I'm still not eating hardly, it is 5pm over here in the UK and I have only had a small bun today. Everytime I try and eat anything, I feel really sick afterwards. I was supposed to have my PT appointment today but just didn't feel like going so my mum cancelled it ... the nurse called us back and said she was so sorry to hear about my grandad and that it was fine to leave PT until I felt better (as long as I did my exercises daily at home!!), she said that the main thing is that I drink plenty of fluids and that I don't push myself into doing things as I don't want to end up in yet another, serious flare!! I am so glad they are being understanding.

My nanan got the results of the post-mortum yesterday, my grandad didn't suffer from an heart-attack, he passed away from Pneumonicosis and Bronchial Pneumonia, which caused the heart-attack from being down the pit. They are now having to do an inquest, all of this seems to never end.

I'm still really upset. I had to write a letter to my grandad today (the corener and my nanan wanted all the grandkids to do this) and it was SO very hard to do. I kept crying everytime I wrote anything down. I also have to find a picture of me to put in my grandads coffin and we are to take them down when we go to see my grandad on Monday at the Chappel of Rest - I don't know if I want to go yet as it was too painful the first time.

Stacie - I love the poem, thank you so much for sharing that with me! I would love to learn how to create a CD with all of my grandads pictures and music once the funeral is over, that's a great idea. I don't have that many pics of my grandad, it's a shame really but I have a few that I would love to use.

Thank you all so very much for your kind words, it means a lot and I have shown my nanan this thread and she was overwhelmed and says thank you all.

Love,
Alison.