Another milestone ........ Was hard, damn hard! But, I made it.

We didn't have our traditional Thanksgiving gathering. I fear our old traditions died with Dad. As we learn to live without our loved ones, we also must find new ways to celebrate things we have always held dear. Easier said than done.... but, I did give it my best shot.

Next weekend my family will get together but Today it was just my twin sis, the kids and Lynn and I. I would have forgone the whole affair, but.. these today’s... they ARE the kids "happy childhood memories" I can't, or wont - take them away from them.

I cried upon waking... I wasn't sure how I was going to make it though the day. The bird was cooking, veggies all in there pots and as I pulled out my Grams cranberry dish ... she treasured that dish and brought it to every Holiday dinner....it occurred to me that every time I take that dish out for the Holidays, we all remember Gram. I don't have anything like that of Dads......
But, I did want to remember him.

HIM... not how he died.... but the memory of all he was and will always be to me. At the head of the table, the kids set a place for Grandpa *crying* On his plate, we placed a beautiful candle holder and put a tea light in it. On either side of his plate was a picture of him, my sis and I each picked out one.... and the kids gave him their little pumpkins........

As we started to hold hands to say Grace, I lit the candle, and the tradition of going around the table expressing what you are thankful for continues... this year my little niece added....... *CRYING* I am thankful for God, for all He is and for holding Grandpa and making all his pain go away ...out of the mouths of babes....

I thought it would be awful having the candle and his pictures there, but you know what? It was better than just that damn empty chair.! OH! and just before dinner was ready I said new tradition, no dressing up.. this year we wear our favorite jammies!! Kids loved that

We made it... we met the elephant head on... and invited him to dinner ......
I hope you were all able to find some peace today, and despite the pain, reach deep inside and find all the things there are still to be grateful for Nikki