I'm a college athlete and after I was finally diagnosed with pcs my doctor told me not to drink or do any physical activity. While at first it wasn't hard for me to give up drinking, it was really difficult to give up physical activity and watch my season pass by. I have been playing soccer almost everyday of my life since I was five, I love it, and it was utterly heart-wrenching not to play. I couldn't even go on a ****ing jog.

I started to get really depressed and it's getting worse as I try to accept the fact that I may never play again. It's so hard for me to have fun. So I decided to drink one night and what do you know, I had a great time.

It was so refreshing to be doing something the old me used to do. So I've gone out drinking a few more times and I know I'm not suppose to.

I wouldn't say alcohol is a way for me to escape reality and drown my depression though. It's more of a way for me to get back to my normal life. I love going out with my friends and having fun. Sometimes I go out with them and try not to drink, but of course, because there are no physical marks of psc, they don't realize the severity of the illness and encourage me to drink.

So yes, I am an idiot. But will some alcohol make it much worse? Should I stop drinking right now?