Another poem on the same subject, I wrote a few years ago...

I'll Never Understand

When I found you crying,
I didn't know what to do,
I held you close,
And tried so hard to comfort you.
But it wasn't enough,
I could never take away your pain,
Erase the past,
Or convince you to try again.
If only I had been there,
If I had known right from the start,
Maybe I could have helped,
But could I have prevented a broken heart?
You've changed so much,
Nothing would ever be the same,
It tore me apart,
To see you taking all the blame.
Your dreams were shattered,
And your spirit had been broken too,
More than you could take,
But I didn't know what you would do.
So I was unprepared,
For the shock that awaited me,
I didn't understand,
When you said you would soon be free.
I found you that morning,
Lying so peacefully on your bed,
I had this strange feeling,
I knew inside that you were dead.
I wanted to touch you,
But this inner fear kept me away,
I wept so hard,
For the dear friend I lost that day.
A bottle of pills,
Took away your life and your pain.
But it hurt so much,
Knowing I would never see you again.
Just why you gave in,
I'll never really understand,
Why didn't you fight,
Why didn't you reach out for my hand?
I wanted to help,
I wanted to be more than just a friend,
But it's too late now,
And it's so hard to believe it's the end.
I will never forget you,
You will be forever in my heart,
A sad and fragile soul,
A beautiful life that has been torn apart....
{©2004 Jan B.}