dear hip chick,

there is nothing wrong with you...

I think you are speaking for a lot of folks that might feel what you are feeling...

the holidays are supposed to be fun and festive and to bring us all together...

somehow, along the way, the true meanings behind it have become lost and then it has became an "excuse" for folks to not to be somewhere...

sometimes, those excuses could be legitimate, such as pains or emergencies...

what I've learned throughout the years is that communication is always the key...there always seems to be some sort of misunderstanding that always seem to escalate especially around the holidays or people using the holidays as "revenge time" so they can get back at the ones they love that they may felt have wronged them...

I know it might be hard to open up and talk about your feelings, but perhaps that IS what you might need to do get the "ghost" out and discuss that elephant/gorilla in the room...

you deserve to enjoy this holiday especially with all that you are going through...and your hubby as well...and it is OK to have your walls and your fears....

you have family in us...

if you don't feel up to talking or discussing it out with your family, please know that it is your right to do so...

if you DO feel up to discussing it out with your family, that may have unexpected results than you might anticipate...
either way, I hope you will be able to find some peace...

and please don't ever forget that we are here for you and that we wish you nothing but painfree and happiness...

I am so tired tonight and I am rambling, I may not be making any sense..I hope I had not offended you...

(((((BIG HUGS)))))