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Me too...

As for the person crying, your reaction and this allowing the person to grieve comment - I'm not sure.

It reminds me of the idea that parents shouldn't "spoil" their kids when they are little by giving them too much attention, or not picking them up when they cry, etc... I don't agree with that idea.

I think it is human nature, healthy human nature. You felt uncomfortable because you were identifying with her pain. I don't think that is bad. I certainly don't think it is inhibiting her.

If she were trying to manipulate the group with her crying I might understand it a little bit more, the same way I'd understand a parent trying to push a slightly older child into being more independent. But even still - I don't see how your feelings or comforting her were wrong or not helpful.

It would be the therapist's job to steer the group back on course - then maybe force her to work out those feelings with the group that would allow you all collectively to see it for what it was - an attempt to manipulate, or just a release of emotion...

Yes, it is easy to sit here and make comments or analyses... But its what we do and I think it is really helpful. I've carried these online conversations into my "real" life many, many times... It does take time. The beauty of these online forums is that we can process things with other people, over a period of time, and with an anonymity we don't have in the real world... Its like practicing an instrument or studying... At some point the learning becomes practical knowledge and we incorporate into our real lives.

At least it seems to work that way to me...

Wish I could just hook myself up to that machine they have in the Matrix and download it That was deep...