I was in that same shape from about 98 until 2005. I had to sign a living will because of it. I actually thought I was going to die.

I believe it is due to the health problems wearing you down so much that you just can't keep going. I actually believe I would have died had I not had a good Dr. that was determined to keep me going.

I wonder if you are also dealing with Fibro and CFS. CFS is one that really sucks the life out of you and you can only do so much at a time and then you have to rest for 2 days for an hours work. With CFS also, it's something you seem to have to just lay back and let it run it's course.

I hope you start feeling better soon.

Ada