Hi,
Here is Dr. Laura being interviewed about how she feels about toxic families:
http://www.estrangedparents-adultchi...om/Page10.html
Quote:
Basically, as I explain often on my radio program, any individual has the right and responsibility to self-defense; “self” is defined as one’s own person as well as spouse and children.
In a situation where it is clear that an association with a family member is dangerous or destructive, it would be considered unhealthy to continue contact. I always try to get callers who are contemplating an end to contact to clearly distinguish between “dangerous/destructive and just plain “annoying.”
When the family member is simply annoying, my recommendation is usually three-fold: (1) be respectful and polite and (2) minimize, but don’t eliminate contact, and (3) accept the reality of their personality/character and stop frustrating yourself with unrealistic expectations and stop trying to get them to be what they aren’t.
Number (3) is usually the most difficult because people have to deal with loss.
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also:
Quote:
It’s not usual that someone has to divorce a whole family. That is generally only the case when there is/was severe sexual or physical abuse and the family is rallying around the “secret” instead of the “victim.”
One of my frequently repeated mantras to this issue is the following: “God gives each of us two opportunities to have a wonderful parent-child relationship – first as a child, then as the parent.”
I remind listeners and callers that they have a choice – they can perpetually suffer, mourn, and battle the dangerous/destructive types in their lives, or they can move forward and create beauty and happiness by opening their minds, hearts, arms, and lives to other wonderful people out there who can offer them acceptance and affection. They have a choice.
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