Originally Posted by Nik-key

I also know I can't change the world just because I wish it so. But, I DO believe one person CAN and DOES make a difference.

Originally Posted by Nik-key

Long before I was a survivor of my Dad's suicide, I was a survivor of my own. It was incredibly hard, but I did reach out and speak with several people about my thoughts to end my life, so I could end my pain. Dad was one of the people who gave me the strength and courage to hang on.

It was a painful experience, both physically and emotionally. Through that long journey came an acceptance of the pain I would have to face every day, with that acceptance, also came hard fought for peace. I went from wishing to God I could die, to regarding my disease as a gift.

Due to all I had to experience to get from point A to point B, I decided to become a support group leader and a phone support to those afflicted with my pain. As ((BMW)) knows, the disease we share, is penned the suicide disease... I felt a great need to share with others that one CAN survive and truly enjoy life, with and despite this pain. I handled suicide calls all the time. I did not hide from my pain, instead I opened up and shared. Through that, I know I made a difference. I know through letters and calls I received later, that I did save lives.

I will NOT stop talking about my Dad. I am not ashamed he took his life. NO ONE has the power to make me feel I should be either!!!! He was and will always be my hero. I know his strength, he fought as hard and as long as he could. It is tragic, it is heartbreaking!!! I do, and forever will wish , I had known he was sick again and that he was able to tell me how depressed he was. He did reach out, he did tell his doctor he was depressed, sadly nothing was done to help him. That HAS to change, and I am damn well going to do everything in my power to help.

So, I may not be able to change the world, but I am making a difference. I am not afraid of that elephant, hell we invited him to dinner! We can all make a difference, WE ARE just by posting here!

My sister is a victim of domestic violence. It is taboo as well. She tried to hide it for many years. She finally found the strength to leave him and is now divorced and living with me. It was the hardest thing she has ever done, death threats, court hearing after hearing, restraining orders etc etc, it has been two years of hell for her. But through it she found her strength - I can hear her ROAR! and I am so damn proud of her I could burst! They have a motto in her DV support group...............Silence - Kills. It is so true for suicide and depression too.

We all need to keep breaking the silence. suicide is not as taboo as it once was......... but the stigma IS still there. I believe the more people keep talking, sharing - the more coalitions like the one I just joined form across the country, the world, the stigma might just be erased in my life time. Holding onto hope

Originally Posted by Nik-key

((Mistiis)) I thank you for opening up and sharing with us. You truly do have a way with words, a gift.

I had several childhood traumas that I had to work through as a young adult. I was going to say it wasn't fear that was the hardest part, it was knowing the emotional hell I would have to go through to heal. But, that is fear isn't it!

I'm not a parent, but I am a big sister to two of my sisters, one 8 years younger, (whom I practically raised) the other 18 years. I am also a proud aunty. I know it was my past that made me reach out to them, (with parents approval of course) to let them know even though many loved them they would have at least one person they would always be safe with. There is a difference between feeling loved, and feeling safe. I think it is vital.

Problems, issues and "elephants" are more readily and easily discussed if one feels safe. I didn't have that as child and I wanted to make sure they did. I let each of them know, they could always come to me, for any reasons. If for example they had been drinking, or were pregnant, call me. No questions would be asked, no explanations needed... just reach out and I will always be there, "you will always be safe with me".

I was pleasantly surprised at how many questions they came up with, well what if I did this? What if someone did this to me? I let them know NO MATTER WHAT, my love for them would not change and I would keep them safe and help them through any problem. They did call on me many many many times and I am so very thankful.

Now that someone we all love did take their own life, we openly talk about suicide as well. It is very difficult to say the least. In order to break the cycle of pushing problems aside, only so they come back and bite you in the butt later, they have to be worked through. The sooner the better.

My point in sharing this is I believe we must start anew in both protecting and educating "our children" We teach them morals, manners etc. we must also teach them and give them the tools they need to face many of life’s challenges. IMHO, I believe the best place to start is at home.

Again ((Mistiis)) thank you for sharing, you helped me today