laura here. steve and i are going to post under one username at times just cuz its easier. im doing good today except for a huge bout of dyskenesia this morning which prompted the topic of this thread. in other words... we laughed. gotta do that some times, ya know? so, in dis thread we ah gonna ask yous guys to use ya imaginashin faw gettin da yayas outa ya system. Gut- bustin laughtah. ja know what im sayin ere?

take it away steve..

Whuteva Laura..You tawk like dis lady..Whudayacallit?..Margie from "Fargo"

Darn tootin..You betcha

I gonna post uh picha o' Margie, butt dis neurotical talk wont let yooze untill yooze have ten posts..%&^&^%$##@$%^^$##!!!!!

1) Try to wrap X-mas presents with dyskenesia

Approx weight loss - 2lbs per gift

2) Looking everywhere for your things..ie, glasses, meds, scissors, tape, wrapping paper..you end up going out and buying the stuff all over again..Den yooze find duh stuf on da closet shelf when yooze go to hang up yur jacket afta comin back frum Wally Maht..Appox weight loss - 5lbs

3) Cooking X-mas dinner with tremors and dyskenisia..Not to worry..By the time dinner is cooked there will be more food on the floor than in than in the pan..Approx weight gain - 0 lbs

4) eating christmas dinner. man created utensils, which can be a chore to use while trying to cut ham or turkey. they also become projectile missles that launch your food by the forkfulls across the room. but, God gave us hands, so depending on how hungery you are, and how much you care about the clothes you are wearing (we suggest something sprayed with alot of non stick stuff) you can still eat. approx weight gain depends on vanity or lack of it.

5) putting up the christmas tree. this does not include decorating it. just dragging the thing in the front door and fitting it in that holder that has screws on the sides, then trying to align it straight from ALL angles, is worth at least 1 pound per visual sighting and re-straightening. swear words are validated at 1/3 lb loss each.


6) Worried about eatin' too much turkey ovah da Holidaze?..Ham?..Fahgedaboudit!..Ahda take out Chinese, like uhh, General Tso's Chicken durin' off periods, and dont fergit da chop stix..Bon Apetit suckah!..Betchah ya cant eat jus' one..litterally

Appox weight gain - 0 lbs

Approx weight loss - 2 lbs

7) Sendin' X-mas cards..Howz yur han-writin?..Gut macroplilia, aw whuteva it iz?..You sends out da cards, and da writin' iz so small dat nobudy get da cahds, cuz da mailman cant read em, and you git snubbed by deez people when dey sees dem at da soopah-mahkit, an' cant undahstan' why?

Appox weight loss - Nun..I jus taught it soundid funny

steve, this is why ecards were invented... ahem...

ok...how bout cleaning the house before the onslaught of guests?

weight loss..

doing yourself..bravo! 10 pounds and a pat on the back

waiting for help from kids.. 4 lbs lost just from stress, 5 pounds for finishing the job

calling cleaning service.. 1 pound for picking up phone, 3 pounds for shelling out the cash they charge.

telling people you will not be home.. 0 pounds


cleaning up after christmas.. who cares? you have paid your dues. zero pounds.

Dis tread wuz insprid by Hahley, who wuz rappin X-mas prezints diastahnoon..She wuz dyskinetik, and was sittin down on da flaw..She wuz rockin' back an fort, spinnin aroun'..shoulda seen her tryin' ta tape da rappin' papah..Dey say a movin' tahgit is hahdah ta hit..Dat aint no lie..She looked like she wuz break dancin' er sumthin..Ya had ta be dare..I loss 10 lbs jus' watchin'..Honist-in-God..Ya had ta be dare!