To Maintain A Healthy
Level Of Insanity...


1. Page yourself Over The Intercom. Don't DisguiseYour Voice!

2. Every Time Someone Asks You to do Something...
Ask If they want fries with that.

3. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks...
Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions,
Switch to Espresso.

4. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks...
Write...For Marijuana'

5. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk...
See how many looks you get.

6. With a serious face,
Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat...

7. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is... 'To Go'.

8. Sing Along At The Opera...

9. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friend You Can' t Attend Their Party
Because You have a headache...

10. When The Money Comes Out of The ATM, Scream...
'I Won! I Won!'

11. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking Lot,
Yelling...
'Run For Your Lives!
They're Loose!'

12. Tell Your Children Over Dinner...
'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity...

13. Pick up a box of condoms at the pharmacy.....Go to the counter and ask where the fitting rooms are.