There was a metaphore I was trying to get at the other day, talking about improvising music. Having taught for years and been an accomplished improvisor I've heard many people say they can't do it, they took fruitless lessons, they have a tin ear, etc...

I always felt like one of the things you need to be able to do to play freely, to improvise, is be able to let go. Forget about mistakes. Allow yourself to be vulnerable.

I've seen many students who were just so scared of surrendering control they clung tightly, or tried to force control over it and just couldn't do it. I've heard people with *little* musical sensibility improvise - they sounded weird or maybe their note choices were pretty out there - but they did not sound like they were trying to impose a forced sense of control.

Turning the tables on myself - I hate dancing. I don't actually hate it. I do it when I'm alone. I used to do it drunk. But it is the most terrifying thing for me to go out on a dance floor and dance with my wife. The only reason I can come up with is that I'm too scared to just let go and have fun. I won't surrender.