I so agree with B2U, not for nothing! I had three weeks with my Dearest Grandmother. I, as you, spent every minute possible with her but I only had three weeks. I was there holding her hand and hugging her with the other when she passed. I will never forget those last few weeks, days, minutes I had with her. I also feel it was a privilege to be with her when she passed. Those are feelings / memories I will never forget.
I know you are hurting, it has been 12 years for my DGM passed and I still miss her dearly every single day. It has only been a couple of weeks for you, let time heal your heart and soul.
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Tough Times Don't Last ~ Tough People Do
Courage is doing what you're afraid to do. There can be NO courage unless you're scared.