I can definately see your point about not living my life. I've been frustrated for 8 years. I just can seem to accept that this is me. I can't seem to smile on the way to the bank to get my SSD money. I can't seem to be grateful that I'm at least able to put money into the family finances. I've spent 8 great years raising my kids cause I could stay home with them due to the SSD. However, they've had to put up with all my problems. So, yes, there is tons of mental stress in my head!