Thanks so much to all who responded with words of wisdom and hope. They are appreciated so much more than you will ever know.

I don't regret for one moment the time that I spent with my father. When I was working, I thought of him all day and rushed to see him in the evening (the State Trooper can verify that - 84 in a 65!). It's just that, in retrospect, I realized that I pushed him too hard. He wanted to give up long before I would let him. The last six weeks of his life were because of me and I regret that. He suffered so very much and if I hadn't been so selfish, I would have seen that long before I did.

He would have been out of misery and been at peace with the Lord long before he was. Every single night, I just cry and keep saying, "I am so sorry, Daddy. I am so, so sorry."

I loved him so much, it hurt. I can honestly say that I have no bad memories of my father. People would say to me that in time I would remember only the good times but with my father, that's all there ever were. Good and loving times.

Now, my mom......

Anyway, thanks to everyone. If you have any prayers left over, could you say one for me that I make it back just a little? If for no other reason, my husband could sure use a break.

I love you all. God Bless.