I feel led to write to you after reading your post. As a fellow person in denial for a long time I just recently have come to recognize that i have to some how learn how to live with this RSD. I found myself having a much tougher time of things about a year ago. I went through losing a job I loved of 17 years to unemployment. I was scared with the problems I had due to the RSD what jobs I might find that would lend themselves to me being able to work. In retrospect I think I might have lost my first job due to some of the pain medications/ nerve meds I was on having problems with memory. I didn't realize it at the time. After I found a new job, the new boss was saying some of the same things the old boss had told me about my work. I am a perfectionist at work and type A personality to find fault in what i was doing was not in my nature. I have to really think it was the medicine more and more taking over as well as the living with pain and fatigue. I began to write things down more and be cautious about getting behind on paperwork at work. I would forget and think I had done it. So I have now graduated from my Master's program and went out on a new journey of working in Special Education. This is very hard on my body and I barely can get up in the morning to go to work. I drive over 100 miles a day which in itself is a feat. The classroom that I have is a Special Ed Preschool and I am keeping the children safe from each other as I try to bring lessons to them. I am finding I am already behind on paperwork and having a hard time grasping what I need to do for it. I am again feeling it is the medicine and pain levels causing me to have problems. I have talked now with the pain dr. about my discovery and perhaps changing to Lyrica will help and taking me off the neurontin. I don't know. Its all so time consuming and bothersome. I want to accept this stuff and than i want to be able to do the things in life I had planned to do. I myself plan to work as long as possible. I may have to change the career path I am on to something around the classroom and not in the classroom. More administrative stuff. I at least can try my time for now. I do love the work.
I worry for the future and don't want to become a burden to my family. I feel that if I can hang in there as long as possible that I have a better chance of beating this.
A year ago though I sought out this site because I knew I was fooling myself and i had to have a bigger understanding and expectation of things to come. I may have remission..yeah...that is the ideal hope. If so I can continue to do the things I want. If I don't have remission than the best thing I can do is get real with myself. I don't think I have to go to the nursing home but I can make plans on how I might see myself working part time or running my craft business more and promoting myself.
I hope that this helps a little. I think it is true we all have our journeys. I come here to just listen, vent and see how others deal with the problems related to RSD. I am thinking of you.