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Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Way down yonder in the Land of Cotton
Posts: 231
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Dear Roz,
I am sorry that you sound so frustrated. It seems that this is a topic that we revisit every so often....and that it never becomes resolved to everyone's liking. I don't think that it ever will, because there are so many different kinds of people that come here, looking for som many different kinds of things, and that use this site in so many different ways and for so many different kinds of things. If that made any sense at all to you.
I myself am glad that there are folks around here that do do the research. I do look at it, and read it...and take what I want or need, or can from it. I just usually don't comment. I am sure that I am not the only one that does that. Why don't I comment, might be your next question? There are lots of reasons for it: I might be processing the info that I have gleaned from the aritcles and websites posted; I might not agree with the topic or study; I might not like the source; I might like all of that, but need time to look up some of the more complicated medical jargon that I haven't heard before; or, honestly (? I am trying to be that here...please don't take any of this in any other way....Ok? I worry so much about folks reading things that I write in ways that they aren't intended) I just plain might not understand the thing at all. It might go zipping right off over the top of my head, parting my hair as it blows on past. Other times, someone might have said something that I myself felt or was going to say....thereby negating the need for any posting from me on the topic.
Those are my reasons for not posting on the research threads here.
But, like I said..you should never, ever assume that they aren't of interest to others here, that they aren't appreciated, and that they aren't read. Because they are...at least by me.
I find it very sad and upsetting that you have felt that it was a right and good thing for you to delete your a lot of your posts here. I see that the ones that you deleted were mainly the ones that had to do with research. That is very upsetting, because there are lurkers here that don't post at all for a number of reasons (such as the inability to type because of malfunctioning, clawed, painful, RSD hands) who might be visiting and lurking and reading this site JUST FOR those posts, those types of posts, that you deleted. How very sad....how very upsetting to them. To all of us...to have lost that information.
If you are asking "Why??" don't I (I can't speak for anyone else but myself in answering this...) do research myself...well....I did at one time. Before I came to OBT, and before I ever started posting, when I was a "True Lurker". I can get a little bit obsessed....and that is exactly what happened. The consequences of that, were that I spent HOURS and HOURS at the computer....suffered hugely from insomnia, yelled a lot at my kids (who were only little at the time, and were upset enough as it was) trying to keep them out of my hair, and fell into an awful, deep, long lasting, very scary and hard to get out of depression.
So, I started "Cheating", and letting other do research for me. Like I say, I read the research that is put up here, and always have. I have defended it's place here, just as I have defended the OT, and more light hearted, and other assorted Non-Research Threads too, because I believe that they ALL have their place. Everyone here has their own way to get by with this awful disease....and, as Curious said so well in her post, it all depends on what you want to call "research" because you can learn a lot just from reading the other posts, too.
But, like I had started saying, before I got off topic there a little...I started cheating, and letting others do the research for me. I read what is posted....and process that. I look up what I don't understand, and limit myself to that, for fear of becoming obsessed about it again. There have been a few times that I have "slipped" when a new treatment is posted, or a new idea...or whatever, that interests me. But..sure enough...I wind up falling into that same trap, and before I know it, I am up all night....going from site to site, comparing, and looking, searching..finding new and different theories, ideas, facts, treatments, etc. So...I stop. And, I read what is posted here. That is why I appreciate those threads so very much. And..I have said so in the past.
Anyway...I am really sorry that you are feeling frustrated. I know that this time of year is a hard time on all of us, what with the weather changing, the cold, and the stressors of the Holiday Season. And, the depression that can (and usually does...at least for me, if I am not very, very careful) walk hand and hand with it all. I hope that you don't choose to stay away...and that is not what you are meaning here in your post? I hope too, that you change you mind and put your posts back up, because that info there is very valuable to so many people. To valuable to be lost like that. That is such a loss.....it makes my heart hurt and break to think about it.
I really do appreciate you and everyone else that does the research and takes the time to share their findings. Just like I appreciate the folks that try to reach out helping hands to the people that are going through hard times and are at the end of their ropes and just need to talk. Talk about anything and everything. And, just like I appreciate the people that allow folks to blow off some steam, let their hair down, have a few laughs,,and try their best to have some fun during this hardest time of the year for so many of us to get through. We ALL have our place here....and any one of us, is missed when they aren't here, or when their words are missing. Just as you...and your words you just deleted...have their place and are already being missing by so many people. More than you probably know.
I really do hope that you reconsider. And, I hope that whatever it is that is making you feel badly and frustrating you eases up some. I care about you, and I want you to know that.
((hugs))
Jose
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