I want to reply to DMAC when he questioned embarrasement as a part of things. I can say for me it is more a huge overwhelming Fear of Judgement. That I have that stops me from talking about suicide or sharing or wanting help etc.
It is how other people might judge me, think of me ..find me weak or find me embarrasing , or think of me as ..what ever.
Being judged . I think for me it is more so because of going threw trail by jury and being followed video taped and . heck they even questioned the cashiers at stores I shopped. and went back into my "history to back in high school and . gosh I didnt realize how much anger I still have about all this.I dont think now is good time to share or try to say what I want . sorry. I just wanted to basicaly say it is fear of judgement .
PEACE
BMW