....i am going to try to reply here through the sobs...so finally I hit 'the wall' ...and it comes tumbling down. When I have to look at the stark reality. When I have to admit what it is that I think I really want. But know I cant have it right now....know that I must keep fighting...whatever it takes. Sorry, just can't say more....just know that I love you dear ((alffe)), and I love your Michael too, and he will be welcomed into my home, and I can't wait to make that ornament, and put it on my tree...Thank you for reaching down for the strength it must take you to do that.

I will have to go, and come back later....