Quote:
Originally Posted by rina
Dear Melody
You have mentioned rain. Maybe this was the couse for my new flare - it was rainy last night...
About friends and family - they are supportive, but I don't feel like being the one who complain all the time - I preffer to be the supportive mate. Friends are coming to me when they need helping figure...So, it is a kind of taking a position in a movie. I'm not sure I can change it so easy.
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Rina:
One of the things I have learned (at the ripe old age of 61) is that I CAN CHANGE. And I'm not just talking about weight, eating well, etc. That's what we all should do. But that takes time, support systems, and being educated.
What I'm referring to is the ability to LET OTHERS BE IN CONTROL FOR A CHANGE. When you are the one always helping others, and not letting them help you for a while, this means a control issue. It's hard to sit back, chill and let someone else be in control, take over and say "what can I do for you"??
I bet you haven't done this, right?
This is very hard to do. But once in a while, it's good to pamper oneself, and believe me, IT'S A GOOD THING TO LET SOMEONE ELSE help us.
Why? Because they should. They learn from it. They learn how to be human. To be a helper, to give empathy.
If it's always YOU who is doing all the helping, how do others learn to do this?
So if you can, think about yourself for a bit. Let someone else pour you a cup of coffee; let someone else say "what can I do for you today?"
It's hard to let go and let others do this. But once in a while it's good for our soul to be nurtured.
So try and let yourself be nurtured, comforted, whatever you need to have happen so YOU can feel better.
It really does help others to learn how to empathise.
Give it a shot.
Hope you feel better.
Melody