Excellent post. I think I need to say that many times before I can forgive my husband.

Although, it would help, I am sure, but then again it could make me vunarble to him. I suppose it is what I should do - forgive him, in a way I have.

I do feel bad for him, and it all makes me very sad. Yet, I have no control over what happened. I feel the justice system worked in his favor, yet I was the victim.

I really don't know, when or if I can get past all that has transpired. He is even in my dreams, ugh......If I talk about it, I re-live it and cry.

With the holidays approaching makes it even more difficult.

I feel l extremely violated, sad, lonely, so many mixed emotions. I guess the Order of Protection is a good thing. It stops the interaction between us that could be disasterous.

I need to work on so many emotions right now. I need to start my life over also, which is very hard right now.

Hugs, Nikko