Brilliant posting COK - thanks so much for putting your thoughts down so that I understand you. Not confused one bit by what you wrote.

I have some further thoughts.

I think that some suicides are "accidental" deaths. And however confusing their death was (be it by a gun, a drowning, a car accident... anything that could leave a doubt ) the elephant follows around behind those who have survived. People tell stories and the stories snowball into the "what ifs..." and the elephant sticks around a lot longer than he should. Instead of leaving the vulnerable at peace, it leaves them grieving to figure out the "what ifs..."

I guess, no matter how we lose someone, we still have those thoughts "what if...."