I admire what you did on the subway. Thank you for sharing that story.

I too learned something about judgement in therapy, in recent months. In my case, i was judging myself.

It is one thing to have experiences or do things one regrets or for which one might even feel acute remorse. But it is another to pass eternal judgement on oneself, to consider oneself of inferior moral fiber for it.

It lightened me so much as i began to see my own self-judgement, to question my right to it, to see how that differed from feelings of remorse, or appreciating the ugliness of the past as a finite thing, and not part of my "soul."

Assessment of facts and feelings is one thing. It is useful.

Judgement of a person is a decision about their moral fiber, sometimes ourselves, and it is indeed a dire thing. Not useful.

....... on the ways and manners of public transit systems .......

I have never defended the weak (not had occasion to) in the way that you did... but i wanted to share some of my own social experiences on public transit systems... which i have "policed" from time to time... always on impulse too, usually out of anger, too. Getting ppl to put out cigarettes, reprimanding teens for writing on seats (i'm not too proud of this one... i was hypomanic and yelled scaring the cr@p out of the two indicted teenagers. They called me on it too, and I luckily was not so bonko as to go off the deep end totally. I agreed that my manner had been inappropriate and rude due to an angry impulse, and i flat out apologized for scaring them. Then i proceeded to reaffirm what i was saying, at which point they engaged and i was asked to explain .... get this... why it was so bad to write on public transits (go figure, families don't teach their kids about respect for public property any more). well, so... i explained that it was unfair to others since it was everyone's property, and that if wanting to scribble, it would be appropriate to do so on something of their own, such as a handbag or their own clothes (LOL, can you imagine that?). I have also reprimanded teens for throwing litter out of windows, suggesting the appropriate behavior - to keep it until destination and throw in the garbage, calling on them to be mindful of the cleanliness of OUR country and OUR world.

Amazingly, i too received huge support from the surrounding travelers. In one case it was, while supportive of me, decidedly negative... bunch of older women started moaning about how "kids these days" ... well, if they would open their mouths a bit more often, and talk TO the kids nicely, instead of ABOUT the kids derogatorily (talk about judgement!), geez, we might have fewer problems! sheesh. That actually made me angry... insofar as these ppl see this behavior every day, could someone not open their mouth, as i did... can we not "train" our teenagers in public since the families are neglecting this aspect? SIGH.

In the other case I had others speak up with me in good tones about the defacement of public transits... giving positive examples of other countries they had lived in where such defacement was literally not present creating a much more pleasant travel ambience.

With the smoking i have never received input... but it is illicit... there are also a lot of teens which are emm, drugged and it is not always a sane thing to challenge them.

But regardless, it's amazing how nobody wants to open their mouth FIRST, isn't it. Yet they ALLL notice whatever is wrong and sit there in silent resignation... perhaps even passing judgement...

Anyway, truly well done Tritone You shared a personal insight through action, essentially, by standing up for the pan-handler. Besides that, taking on someone who is behaving aggressively and irascibly takes a lot of guts. I think you made the day for just about everyone on that car.

~ waves ~