We are lambs being led to the slaughter. It's not just PWMS, though. It's any disease that's medically poorly understood. As a society we've become so conditioned to the idea that drugs will eventually fix, or at least help, any medical condition that we often submit to drugs that are as poorly understood as the disease we may have. Many times, belief in drug intervention is completely justified. In the 20th century medical understanding proceeded at warp speed. But medicine is not an exact science, a fact that many people find difficult to accept. In particular, medical understanding of the CNS, brain chemistry, human psychology, and the things that can go wrong with them are not yet ready for prime time.

I have PPMS. My neuroligist and I know this because for thirteen years I never had a relapse, but only steady progression that got faster as the years passed, and never remitted or slowed down. What you might call a textbook case of PP. During the last two years, I've had several episodes that seem to be relapses, causing my neurologist to think that my PP may now be relapsing progressive. My MRI doesn't enhance, indicating that there is no active inflammation involved. My point in talking about all of this is to explain why I have resisted all of the current drug interventions for MS. In my particular case, none of the drugs make any rational sense. And "you never know" doesn't work for me as a reason for taking heavy hitting drugs, particularly when their long term consequences are lethal or unknown. Because of this I have a jaundiced, not to say cynically skeptical, view of the efficacy of current MS drug treatments.

And there have been times when I have been accused by other PWMS of "losing hope." Since I never expected medical science to come riding to my rescue, I never quite understood which hope I supposedly lost. I follow every new drug intervention that comes along, looking at each one with my own personal MS profile in mind. None of them has held up for me, although several years ago I allowed myself to be talked into trying a course of cytoxan. It did nothing for me. Nor did the solumedrol given in tandem with the cytoxan.

I think that any drug intervention is a personal decision made by a PWMS. Not only is MS poorly understood medically, but it's highly individual. My neuroligist calls me "the other doctor," and that's the way it should be. PWMS need to be especially proactive, researching their own drug options and not accepting drug treatment until they understand the pros and the cons. Neurologists are children of society every bit as much as we are; being doctors, they want to fix illness and are members of the drug culture. People accepting heavy hitting drugs need to be as secure as possible in their own minds that they're making the right choice.

Chris